Arduous Bond

"Sometimes love isn't always what you see and what you want it to be."

The Story

TW Ahead (drugs / self-destruction)
Griffith comes from an unsettled household. His parents rarely see each other in their own home because they are always inviting other strangers to sleep with since they fell off a long time ago. His mother gave birth to Griff in hopes to save their relationship but it didn’t work out so his mother began to grow hostility towards him and told him to figure something out before he gets kicked out of his home as soon as he hits 18.Griffith always had this irritable look on his face so people would always choose to not speak to him. Griffith never had a clear understanding of what love is because he would always see his parents be with others rather than themselves so this is what love was translated into for him.He didn’t do so well in school and went to detention a lot. There is where he met his first love. Her name was Eri. Eri worked at his school part time as she was barely in college. Every time she worked there, she would see Griff. He began to spark an interest in her that she began to converse with him. In getting to know him she saw how misunderstood he was. Griff began to open up to her as well seeing as she was the first ever in his life to be so gentle with him. They began to date and he was her motivation for graduating and attempt to rescue him but she needed him to do the same; she needed him to at least graduate high school. Her parents didn’t approve of him so they saw each other in secret.Griffith began to try his best but his household made it hard to accomplish tasks. He didn’t want to fail Eri so he wanted to do whatever it took to accomplish his goal. Especially since he technically only had until he hit 18.It was one of those when people start dating you, for some reason everyone wants to get at you. People began to talk to Griff. People wanted to be with Griff. Griffith was confused at the unexpected turn of events but in a way, it made Griff feel good. This was the first time Griffith has ever felt acknowledged and felt like he existed. Like he was actually on the planet. People would offer to do his homework for him in exchange for other services. When he got in trouble: his counselor would overlook everything as well in exchange for certain “favors.” He didn’t want to tell Eri how he was passing all his classes but he felt rushed and stressed that if he didn’t have all this; he would not make it to his goal so he kept it to himself.Eventually, a fellow classmate believed she and Griff were a thing but she was so honest that she went to Eri and asked her for permission if it was okay for Griff and herself to date seeing as they did certain activities the night before. Eri confronted Griffith and she was heartbroken when he told her the truth. However, Eri was so sweet and always kept her promises about how she promised she would be with Griff no matter what so she forgave him but asked that he goes about accomplishing his goal the honest way. He agreed.Unfortunately, Griffith had become addicted to the attention. It felt good to him knowing a lot of people wanted him at last. He didn’t feel non-existent so he kept at it, especially more so since he’s never had experience with love and because of what he would constantly see at his own home, he felt he wasn’t doing anything wrong. He could never understand why Eri would get upset and hurt every time she found out about what he was doing. He didn’t know any better. He was clueless. But she was so kind and wanted to be understanding that she continued to let him do what “made him happy.” Even if it meant it hurt her like hell.Griffith began to notice Eri’s smile began to fade. She never looked happy anymore. She began to fail school herself and eventually stopped seeing Griff altogether. She just couldn’t come out her home. Griffith snuck into her room through her window since he knew how to already because that’s the only way they could be with each other and he saw her sleeping in her bed. He sat on the bed next to her and began to massage her back and told her he was sorry for being such an asshole to her. He thanked her for all that she has done for him but he realized she felt cold. He moved her and saw she had overdosed on anti-depressants.He didn’t attend her funeral but only watched from afar. He felt he didn’t deserve to be near her. He ran away from home and began to support himself by doing odd jobs. Not having any guidance in life, he fell into drugs and meaningless sex.He’s forgotten what it feels like to exist so he would purposely start some fights or anything unnecessary to draw attention to himself. Every year, around the time of Eri’s departure; he’d become the most unstable. He’d have a copious amount of sex to try and forget hurtful memories or abuse drugs.One thing he does not do though is kiss. He does not kiss. Eri was his first kiss and his last kiss and he chose to at least always have that with him. So whenever people would try to lean in to kiss him; he’d shove them or push them away.He’s never forgiven himself for costing someone their life and he is scared to be attached to anyone ever again because he doesn’t want the possibility of the same outcome. He’s convinced himself he is not worthy of being happy because that would mean in the end, he is content and she is still gone.Despite all this, that’s not to say Griff likes being this way. He hates being this way. So now, he’s just a boy who wishes for people to see past his cold exterior and see that there is someone there who wishes to be happy.